IFE over population suggests lack of world sanity

By  | Filed under: Jazzy Reports
Rare IFE Photo

Rare IFE Photo

Experts claim IFE over-population is due to an increasingly complicated and dangerous world. This answers earlier speculation of mass IFE extinction in the late eighties. At the time some urged the IFE to be placed on a kind of endangered entity list. This caused an uproar within the psychology community since the IFE or Imaginary Friend Entity could not be proved to exist, they could not be proved not to exist. This logical conundrum combined with the hardnosed “bottom line” cultural attitudes of the late 1980’s and early 1990’s came close to ending the IFE phenomenon. Experts say the IFE was ghettoized, found only within circles of dangerously psychotic adults and severely abused children. Thought practically extinct by the psychology community, the 2001 9/11 event appears to be a turning point. This attack caused many to retreat inward and rediscover their childhood imaginary friends.

Typical IFE Portrait

Typical IFE Portrait

With a world wide economic crises brought on by unscrupulous and greedy investment banks, record home foreclosures and lost jobs the need to talk to someone who understands your particular plight intimately was desperately needed. With advent of the cell phone, we have grown used to people on their cell ‘talking to themselves’.  Experts now realize many are ‘faking’ the call and in reality talking to their IFE.

The creator of the Imaginary Friend Index, mass hysteria expert, Hans “data-dude” Wankoft claims many in the mental health community welcomed the demise of IFE. “They were competition. Who needs to pay a shrink a hundred bucks a visit when you could talk to an empathetic IFE for free,” claims Wankoft. While psychedelic, opiate and anti-psychotic drugs gave the IFE a run for the money in the late sixties and seventies, the eighties were a real death knell. Though crack and meth addicts were occasionally seen talking to themselves, this was not a revival of the IFE. Now it’s widely accepted that this was merely a drug delirium, not an imaginary friend. “With the financial crises, War on

Terror, War on Drugs, War on War, their population has exploded,” says Wankoft. This has crowded out many other necessary brain functions. An inadvertent side benefit has been a falling off of stock and bond investment, thus saving millions of dollars potentially wasted on foolish financial speculation.

IFE on street

IFE on street

Many imaginary friends tell their true friends to live for today, you can’t trust Wall Street with your 401 retirement fund. And money is more fun to spend when you’re young and stupid, than when you’re old and creepy. Researchers and some IFE experts warn the IFE surge may be short lived. They claim the Post-Modern Generation (PMG’s) has lost much of the cerebral imagination of the Boomers and even the “lost-it generation”, the Gen-Xers. The friendly IFE of the past now resembles video game heroes and villains. Death and mayhem is

the byword. Acting out of various “unreal” scenarios of violence in many video games, has filled the consciousness of this generation and pushed out the normal (if interacting with IFE’s can be considered ‘normal’) mild inter-actions of the Imaginary Friends of the past. Some say violent incidents of recent years, such as the tragedy at Columbine High School, were guided by or at least influenced by a

Baby with IFE

Baby with IFE

new breed of IFE’s. Reality has rarely been a friend of the IFE community and this new scrutiny has advanced many IFE studies. These studies suggest that the IFE is here to stay, at least until the economy improves.

 

 

IFE? Child & Dog?

IFE? Child & Dog?

About 

After dropping out of a number of prestigious universities, a bout in an Oregon religious commune and time in a Peruvian Jail, Bugboy has come out stronger and older, if not wiser - a deadly combo. Yet there it is. Writing in English is his main qualification for this low paying blog.

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